Lost & Gained

I lost something but gained another.

It seemed like a century's time I've been questioning myself with the same old issue. Going through all kinds of uncertainties and worries and frustrations, insisted to rely on my own human strength in getting things right again.

Nope. Didn't work that way. My own human strength failed me miserably. No matter how hard I tried things just continued to fall apart, and this was when God came into my mind. It is true what they said: Only during difficult times people will start praying, they will start crying out for God. Of course, this is not what you should set as an example.

When I have nothing left, all I have is God. All I can rely is on Him. All I can do is to pray. Well it did not happened like magic, not as though once I prayed, things started to get alright again. Nothing happened for few months. There were times I went astray again but thank God, my faith pulled me back. I knew God was testing on my patient. I knew it was just the matter of time.

True enough, He answered my prayer after half a year. Imagining praying for the same thing for half year, phew~ that wasn't easy. Everything happens for a reason and not by coincident. I know and I know it was by God's power and grace that I've gained full understanding of my problems, that I seen through things in a different manner, that I am able to be a blessing to the others, all in a single day. He answered my questions in such a strong manner that I couldn't deny His present in my life. I still feel it now. It makes me tear whenever I come to think of it.

The answers I was given were of clean-cut, and I knew it was for the best of me. Though I must admit that following what God has planned for me at the moment isn't something pleasant because His plans simply cut through many of my personal desire, but nevertheless, I know this is the correct direction I should be heading. Might not be pleasant on the way but I'll trust Him for more to come.

People come and people go, money earned and money spent, material stuffs being bought and then being dumped when seasons are over, yet God stays with me through thick and thin, even at times when I've backslided.

On a sidenote, thank you Pastor Kong Hee, along your preaching came God's message. I'm back on track :)

p/s: Am thinking of getting my second tattoo, just the matter of courage & time. Hopefully the mama wouldn't chase me out of the house *finger crossed* ^^